The Latest Strangeness
Weird News with Casey O'Malley
Greetings, Earthlings! Casey O’Malley here. Next Stop Unknown invited me to write a guest column because I am a well known expert on all things bizarre and paranormal related--and that’s not an exaggeration, chum!
Sure, my tax returns say “Door-to-Door Salesman” under profession, but by night, I am combing newspapers and television programs for all the best information I can find on UFO’s, paranormal encounters, and monster cryptids!
So without delay, here’s the latest strangeness:
Yowie Sighting!
NEWS FLASH! Bigfoot creature, “Yowie”, videotaped in Australia! Check out this video captured by Queensland-based Yowie researcher, Dean Harrison. Now, I know what you’re asking, and the answer is yes! In nature, the Yowie appears more brown and furry, not like an orange ball of fire. It’s a thermal video filming the animal’s body heat because Dean says he hit the wrong setting on his camera or something. I’m no scientist, but it sounds legit to me!
This video is a little long for short attention spans, but if you skip to about 4:30 you can see the good stuff. Not sure what those creatures were after, but when that supposedly 8 or 9 foot tall thing bends over, all I can say is “YOWIE! YOWIE!”
Pulsing Orb Sighting Over Mexico!
NEWS FLASH! Pilots capture video of an unidentified glowing orb over Mexico! This video’s pilot may have used some coarse language, but if I saw what he saw, I’d probably be making a few deposits to the swear jar myself! Take a look and read the article here:
That’s all for this week’s strangeness. Cheers, chums!
Casey
Counterpoint Op-ed:
My Husband is a Certified Idiot
by Judy O’Malley
Hello, strangers. Judy here (Casey’s wife) just setting the record straight.
In case you are one of the uninitiated in town, my husband Casey is a certified idiot. By “certified” I mean his below average IQ literally certifies that his completely normal brain functions on below normal intelligence. So, for example, things like holding a steady job, feeding the dog, opening screw-top jars, and remembering my mother’s name are very difficult for him.
Needless to say, take everything he says about these flying saucers and ghosts with a heaping spoonful of salt. If he spent as much time cleaning the garage as he does reading all the garbage in those tabloid rags, we might be able to finally turn our tiny house into a reasonable home.
Best,
Judy
Casey O’Malley is a self-proclaimed expert on paranormal activity, high strangeness, and unidentified flying objects. He is best known for his Instagram account, @flyingsaucersareswell, which he claims was shadow-banned by a secret government agency because he “knew too much.” However, we checked and found the account is still active if you’d like to see what he knew so much about. Casey enjoys pipes, Manhattans, and science fiction movies featuring giant insects.
Judy O’Malley is a homemaker whose obsessive compulsive disorder compels her to regularly bake an unreasonable amount of homemade pies. While Judy never had much interest in science fiction or UFO’s growing up, she has now written and published multiple short stories in sci-fi magazines. These achievements were done mostly out of spite toward her husband who is “writing” constantly in the attic but has yet to publish a single story. Judy enjoys baking, bridge games, and “I Love Lucy” episodes centered around Ethel.